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A slow breaking and mending
of blood and bone
fit for the poorest
of ivory souls.
Pour tomber, pour courir,
pour mourir; no less!

Mademoiselle
No one, to you,
do tell.
A dream,
perhaps a nightmare,
that died in your arms
much too long ago.


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Friday, November 28, 2008
This doesn't even cut it
Based on previous experience, I should be packed up and gone. I shouldn't be spacing out for hours, on end -I shouldn't be spacing out, ever. Based on past delusions..based on person after person, mistake after mistake. I should've been out of words and out of patience and out of your life, ages ago. "Ages", in my world; meaning, "a week."

Based on old rumors, you should have your sights set on someone new. You shouldn't have your arms around me so tightly -you should be on the loose and on the prowl. Based on past prejudice..based on cover up after cover up, lie after lie. You should've run out of motivation and out of promises and out on me, ages ago.

And yet, here I am..whirling away, selecting the most perfect words to say. And there we were; fingers, as always, laced, with your arms around my waist, my forehead against yours right when no one else could've been watching us break all our stupid personal rules.

And since (we're) breaking all the rules, anyway.. :) Haha! :)

The only thing left to figure out is..which one of us is the lion and which is the lamb?

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Saturday, November 15, 2008
You've got a hold on me
All those things I thought I knew
about countdowns and limits and deadlines
and the steady ticking of my defense mechanism;
reset..or relinquished.

Either way, you've got a hold on me,
and I think I blame it on how you
(and your oh so creative friends)
make it feel like it'd be perfectly safe
and perfectly perfect
to be solely yours, in that sense.

How exactly do you do
what you do,
to this suddenly-sweet cynic?
- on second thought, don't answer that:
I wouldn't want you
to ruin the surprise.

You've got a hold on me,
and I don't know how else to tell you
that it's above and beyond
your tightened grip when we lace our fingers,
and the steady way everything fades
into background noise
when you slip your arm around my waist.

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008
"As long as it's the good kind of gigil, ah"
Well it's the kind of gigil where I wish I could be holding your hand, so I'm assuming that's the good kind

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Saturday, November 8, 2008
Back to reality
And the countdown begins.

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Friday, November 7, 2008
Leap of faith
The scent of alcohol and good cologne played around with my head all night -as if the spaces between you and I weren't enough to have me completely undone. How is it that some friends know exactly what you want, when you yourself remain very much in denial? How is it that other friends know all this, regardless of their state of mind??

The night was slipping away when you finally decided to take matters into our own hands (and not leave it all up to The Three's instruction). I stuttered and I stammered and I stifled a shiver everytime my voice broke off, mid-sentence. A sober mind is a strange thing in certain circumstances!

Out of fear, perhaps, that you would misconstrue my meaning, all I had courage enough to do was reach out and hope you'd lace your fingers in mine, without my friends' orders. And if that hadn't assured you and everyone else who I'd been keeping in the dark, then I hope you're able to recall those few seconds where my forehead lay squarely on your shoulder, and your arm lay on mine.

Lame as it sounds, I think you made my life a little bit like a highschool musical, last night :)

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Thursday, November 6, 2008
GG, you're so busted
I missed you in school today, best bud :)

OH LOOK I CAN LIE, TOO hahahahaha

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Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Don't speak, liar
Revenge is empty when you're fully aware that all you really want is for everything to be alright. The truth can be so stifling..especially since love, of any sort, is the kind of lie everyone likes to believe in.

I couldn't have picked two more perfect people. Senior year is obviously a joke but who knew that this sorry excuse for friendship would be this week's punchline

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Saturday, November 1, 2008
Word vomit
It's been so long since the words have fallen so freely from the top of my head to the pit of my stomach. Too often, the liberty of my broken resolutions have gotten caught in my throat..(yes, little girl, your silly rules are out to choke you now!) I blame it on this insane aspiration to make better sense!..or the rebellion simmering in my typical teenage mind; the one that'd much rather keep its artificially mysterious and mind-boggling repute, intact.

(Note the use of one of the many words for the day that did NOT show up on that Unit Test -BITTER haha!)

After all..

aren't we all a little bit scared to discover that our depth is about as contrived as sad excuses for sandcastles carved out of gravel-laiden sandboxes?

Add to that the impending doom in the very next room that you and I seem to be walking towards, for Faith's sake. In spite of all the love I claim to have for surprises and the like, I've learned one too many times, to keep my Faith solely in the Divine.

You and I..we're as human as blood and flesh can possibly get.

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