Designer: Manikka
Resources: 1 2 3

I barely had three seconds to myself, yesterday. It was a day of rushed breakfasts and twice-as-rushed carrides. It was a day of little kids who cried their adorable snot-nosed faces off, until you sat them on your lap and fed them Chocnut.

There was no time for the news to fully sink in, amidst Pep mixes and dental appointments! Only for steps to be taught and teeth to be checked!

But as soon as I found the silence to look myself in the mirror, I suddenly realized that today, something -everything, was drastically different. My mind struggled to grasp the emotions overflowing beneath my familiar face and well-worn form. It could barely fathom the logical justification of my tear-stained cheeks.

How could my head even begin to understand what my heart could only attempt to explain? These, after all, were a surging sort of emotion that lay in the deepest recesses of my soul -interspersed with memories that had been buried, and thoughts that had banished..but barely forgotten.

My all-too-literate facade searched every nook and cranny of my 17 years' worth of grammar, to find the words. My need for control -for logic to pummel through, strained to rationalize..the moment (for lack of a better word -it seems 17 years are just not enough!)

Now..all the time I'd spent, searching for something -anything, that would make me feel like there wasn't something terribly wrong with me: flings, pitching stats, a better number on the scale, on the tape measure, fair weather friends, friends who were barely even friends when the weather WAS fair; just seems so far behind me that it's a whole other chapter of my life. Another chapter that I can finally write off, and put on the shelf.

For all my insecurities and worthless thoughts of my apprently worthy self, I am finally happy with who I am because of something I've accomplished.. :) My highschool dream actually came true..and right now, I cannot hate myself..not even a little bit, not at all :)

Thank you, Lord. I would have nothing at all, without You.
|